Men's feelings in middle pregnancy: not real yet?

Men's feelings in middle pregnancy: not real yet?

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What you might be going through in the second trimester

It's pretty common to feel pregnancy is happening at a distance. In fact, it might not even feel real yet.

Seeing the baby for the first time at the 12-week ultrasound scan is a moment when some men feel like it's really happening. But this isn't always the case. Most men get into it eventually, but birth could be the real kick-off - when they can actually get involved and start being a dad.

If this sounds like you, you might come across as being uninterested, impatient or annoyed. You might not want to read a pregnancy book, and pram shopping might not seem like a great afternoon out. The wait for the baby to arrive could drag as well.

That's fine.

But the downside is that your partner might worry that you're not into the pregnancy or she might feel you're not supportive. This can lead to arguments or to her struggling to keep on top of all the changes. If the details rather than the pregnancy are the problem, try to reassure your partner.

Unsure about the pregnancy

If you weren't keen on the pregnancy to start with or you're not sure about being a parent, you're likely to be in a tough spot.

It might help to start thinking about being a dad. Also, thinking about your dad and family could help you work out what kind of father you want to be.

It can also help to have a conversation with someone you trust, like a friend or your GP, or call MensLine on 1300 789 978 to talk about your situation or what's troubling you. It's a free, confidential service.

Things you can do

  • Be honest with your partner about how you feel. Talking to your partner and accepting your feelings can help…
  • If you're getting frustrated with the 'details' like shopping for baby equipment, reassure your partner that the pregnancy itself isn't bothering you. Be patient too. Your partner might be nesting - this is part of her feeling 'baby ready'.
  • If the pregnancy doesn't feel real yet, it can help to talk to a friend or another expectant dad or new dad.
  • If you're not sure about becoming a dad, talk with someone you trust or ring MensLine on 1300 789 978.